YouThanks Day 6

Somehow I'm behind 3 because I'm supposed to be on day 9 right now....

DAY 6. I'm thankful for Change. Awareness. Adaptation.

I was jaywalking the other day and a truck drove by me. He was texting and driving. I immediately got mad in my head and started yelling at him screaming, "are you kidding me? Texting and driving near a pedestrian crosswalk?! Are you trying to kill people?" I immediately woke up. I realized that I'm a hypocrite. I text and drive sometimes, I'll admit it. 

I'm really yelling at myself. "Everything we hate in others, we recognize in ourselves." This saying is so true. If you become aware of the mean things you say about other people and figure out why you feel that way, it always comes back to YOU. 

I'm thankful that I can recognize unloving manners in myself and change them. I'm thankful I can be aware of my ego and personality and change it to better myself and in turn benefit the world and others. Life would suck without change. 

THANKS! Day 5

Why hello there : )

Day 5 > I'm thankful for The post office!

I went to the post office a couple days ago (which was actually day 5) and I finished putting the book into the package. I peeled the sticker off and closed the package tightly. When I gave the postal man my package, he asked as usual, if I wanted to do express shipping or first class, etc. I then stated, "um, the cheapest one?" Because to be honest, I always get confused at what exactly each one means! So I asked the post man why the cheapest one is called first class because when I think of first class, I think of rich old men leaning back in a spacious airplane with a glass of Gin in their hand. The expensive version of something. He then enlightened me on the history of the postal service and how they only used to have parcel service or first class service. The first class didn't mean "higher end," it means it was the FIRST mail service to go door to door. So it's the lowest type of delivery, but it was the first one back in the day. It was a pretty cool fact for the day : )

I would hate to lose the post office for emails and stupid things like that. Technology, eww.

Writing hand written letters are the best.

Azure Ray - Sleep

And so I'm reaching out for the one

And so I've learned the meaning of the sun

And all this like a message comes to shift my point of view

And watching through my own light

As it tints the shade of you

Day 4 of Thanks

I'm thankful for...

Community.

Have you seen the show community? It's kind of like that. Having a place that feels like home, where there are people who recognize who you are and care about you. They love you for who you are and nothing more or less. 

I used to live at Blackbird coffee. Mostly because my house was freezing cold and I could never study in a cold environment. Everyone in Blackbird knew me, including the locals who came in everyday. I was "that face." "You're still here!! Did you ever leave?" is a phrase I got often. That was over a year ago. Now, I come in once in a while but they still know what I'm going to order. When my delicious cup of vanilla caramel latte is done, they yell "Medium Vanilla Caramel for Natalie!!!" They know to yell it out because I always put my headphones on soon after ordering my drink, haha. 

I work at Judy's Country Buffet and it's definitely a community there. How can a restaurant also be a place for people to feel at home? A buffet? Yes, a buffet. The buffet that I work at and do my best to create a home atmosphere in. I can tell you all of the characters in my show...

Bill - Bill is about 80. He has been coming in for years and usually comes in everyday except on the weekends when he goes out of town or travels. He lost his wife about 10 years ago and his daughter a couple days later. He drives a old red pickup truck and ALWAYS backs it into a parking space. I'm not sure how he even drives because as he opens his door, he gets out uber slow and walks slowly with a limp. He eats his jello first and his bowl of peach cobbler last. He takes 3 splendas with his unsweet tea and even needs me to help take the straw out of the paper lining. I love him.

Dalores: I remember when I first saw her. Everyone noticed when she came in. She wears a light colored bandana to cover the hair that no longer grows on her head. I've never asked about her condition. For many reasons but they are besides the point of this post so I'll skip that part. She has the bluest eyes I have ever seen. She loves to read fiction novels about spies and adventures. She also love crossword puzzles and has a daughter. She lost her husband to disease as well. I have had numerous customers come to me giving me money to pay for her food. Everyone seems to notice her. I was talking to her yesterday about her books. I noticed she didn't have one  yesterday and I asked why. She explained how everything has a season and she got filled up with reading and is on to new things. She went on to explain how Judy's food fills her up, in not just the stomach filling way, but it makes her feel at home. It fills her heart. The fried, canned, same old-everyday buffet food, makes HER feel at home. But it's not the food. It's the fact that every time she comes in, I light up with a smile because I'm so happy to see her. It's because Judy's is her community away from her cancer community. 

Howard: is extremely perverted but I love him anyway. He is kind of a computer engineering genius. He builds stuff with wheels and computers and they speak to each other to do things. He explains it better than I do. He comes in everyday around 4:30. Sometimes he brings his P.I.C. but I have never gotten his name. Either way, they are not good to be together, to say the least, lol.

Jerome: he is a bowler and he loves to share how many points he got and how worse or better he's been getting. He always gets hot sauce, splenda, and unsweet tea and water. When he sits in the booth, he always sits on the end near the aisle and keeps both of his feet outside of the booth as if making sure he's prepared to run if he has to. 

Oliver: He is 72 years old. He has been wearing converse for over 50 years. He is a carpenter and loves to build things. He has no wife, but he'd like me to be married to him. He is living with his daughter and is building her a new fence and fixing up her house. 

Billy: a.k.a Dennis. Sits in the corner by the window, drinks water, takes no sauces, and has tattoos that are so faded that you have no idea what they say/mean. Even he has forgotten. 

....and the list goes ON AND ON.

What are YOU thankful for?

What I'm Thankful for: Day 3

Today was a long and difficult day. What do I mean by difficult? Let's just say I found myself in class go from extremely happy and joyful to freezing cold, shaking violently, and running out of the classroom. Yes, something triggered this change in my thyroid, to my pituitary gland, then to my sympathetic nervous system.

When you have days like these, it's almost as if you have way more to be thankful for. These moments, these events, lead you to realize what you have or don't have and who is there for you, and who isn't. Today, I have a lot to be thankful for. Out of all the things I can be thankful for today, I am choosing to be thankful for....

Pain.

The feeling when your heart is slowly breaking into pieces. When you parents get into a car accident. When the president you didn't vote for gets elected. When you drop your ice cream on the ground. When you can't have what you want. When you get punched in the face. When you get diagnosed with cancer. When you stub your toe. When you lose everything....EVERYTHING.

PAIN. PAIN. 

To FULLY understand Life. Love. Joy. Happiness.... you need to feel the opposite emotion. Like religious people say, "To find your life you must lose it." When you've felt a broken heart, you recognize a healthy, happy one. You understand peace and love more after you've been hurt. You know I spent 14 years of my life thinking I knew what love was. When I turned 14 and moved into a new environment, with new guardians, with a new life, I learned a different kind of love. It wasn't until then that I realized I didn't know love at all. I also couldn't appreciate the love my new guardians had to offer me unless I had gone through the worst before hand. 

Comparisons. Hot, cold. Up, down. They are completely opposite, but still somehow connected, somehow linked. I can't be thankful for love and joy, if I can't be thankful for pain. I wouldn't understand love if I didn't understand pain. 

Understanding. That's the key. 

What are YOU thankful for?

ThanksgivemeTurkey Day 2

Day 2!!!! 

I'm thankful for....
NATURE

Nature brings me to my happiest place. It rejuvenates me and empowers me. It reminds me that my essence is always with me and right in front of me. It reminds me to be a child and enjoy the simple things in life. My heart will only beat for so long. The colors I see are a gift and the beauty reminds me that when all else fails, love is all I need. Nature reminds me to give. It romances me. It makes me want to sing and dance and be free. Nature. It sounds like a cure. It also says "Nat." It was made for me. It was made for US!! <3

What are YOU thankful for today?

Days of Thankfulness: 1

I am thankful for COFFEE.

Why am I thankful for coffee?

Coffee is like skin to me. It is an essence to my being. It has many shades of color, taste, and temperature.

Coffee makes me more focused. It makes me feel like a hipster, which I love. It is a meditation. Coffee opens up my mind to things unseen and opens up my heart for thoughts and emotions that spin around me.

Yet, like anything, it disappoints. It doesn't always keep me awake. Sometimes, when it's made, it's made horrible. Some days I pick it up, lay it to my lips, and expect a warm liquid, but only find a cold sensation into my mouth.

That reminds me of the dare I had to do last night...I was dared to stick an ice cube down my pants until it melted. My house is about 58 degrees so the ice melted extremely SLLLOOOOOWWWW. It was awkward to say the least.

What are you thankful for?